and then we wait…

Talked with my brother on the phone (he lives in Wales), he was making a vegetable tart and asked what we were doing today…  I said, breakfast, working for half a day and the we wait…

That’s what Advent is about…  watch and wait…  that’s what Chrsitmas Eve is about – more waiting… 

Waiting is not bad…  it gives times to anticipate the coming of Christ, the coming new year, the coming of wonderous things… 

There’s so much “doing” in the workd today – maybe we all need to slow down and watch and wait for a little bit… 

I wish for you a little piece of time today to watch and wait and see what happens…

Peace of the Season…

Predestined?

So, as my friends know, I tend to be a somewhat literal person (you know, 1’s and 0’s)…  but what exactly is meant by God predetermining things?  How does that work?  If it does work, why do we do anything – won’t God take care of things?

I saw an interview with the winner of this year’s Master’s Tournament – a sort of unknown – certainly not one thought to beat Tiger Woods…  Well, during the interview his wife said they she and her husband knew that God had predetermined who would win the tournament so it was all okay…  Does God really have these events in his To Do list? 

The whole “God getting out of the bathtub” to help skeezy Dick win Big Brother this summer (oh dear, I’ve revealed too much about my private life again!)…  Well, yes I watch these unscripted dramas – they are not reality show – there is NOTHING real about them!  Anyhow, I digress… 

Ya, so, NO – I don’t think worries with who wins the Master’s or Big Brother…  I think God is busy helping us to find the right way in life, hoping we will be more kind to each other and planet Earth, guiding us – sometimes kicking and screaming toward the right path to be truthful and fair and honest and try not to hurt each other so much…  IMHO God doesn’t really care who wins the lottery, game shows or-the like…  God does hope that we use our good fortune and abilities to make the world a better place.

If people do believe in this – why bother try, if God’s already decided – if its your turn to win – won’t you win anyhow?  That’s where I’m a bit too literal – – but seriously, I don’t get how it works… 

To steal a phrase from Oprah…

“What I know for sure” – well, I know for sure that we can only do the best we can do.  Your best and my best may be very different, but I truly believe that we live life trying to do our best.

A friend died this week from a long war with cancer – he won a few battles along the way, but ultimatly lost the war on Monday morning…  He was surround by family and thankfully hospice.  For those who don’t know, the service hospice provides is wonderfully respectful to the patient and to the family.  It just makes passing as easy as it can be (which is not saying its easy – but they do so much to help, and most people don’t even know)…

I thought about trying to see him last week and as the week slipped away I asked myself whether or not I’d be okay not seeing him again – and the answer was yes.  Last time I saw him he was quite frail (and I hear it just progressed).  He is a man who knew the love of God, of his family, of his church community, of his colleages and probably of most people who met him…  He was always happy to see you and told you so!  Honestly, it was a bit embarrassing hearing how wonderful I was and how happy this man was to see me on any given day – but that was my hang-up not his. 

I think he wanted to be sure everyone knew how thankful he was to God for his life and for your presence in his life.  He sang in the choir for years and could not carry a tune in a bucket, but the man could whistle!  I loved to hear him whistle in the church.  You’d hear him sometimes more than a minute before you’d see him coming around a corner.  If there was whistling, you pretty much knew W was “in the building.”

Two summers ago he joined the first Mission group on a trip to Honduras – to Our Little Roses, which is a girls home in San Pedro Sula.  We went in August – and it was hot!  W did really well!  He paced himself, helped out with making cupcakes which was an adventure, sanded dining room chairs by hand like the rest of us…  It was a wonderful trip and a great opprotunity to see someone in their 70s stretch and try something new.

W’s youngest daughter was one of my “kids” in youth group and well, she’s all growed up now so I consider her one of my closest friends…  anyhow, she is home and keeping things together as best one can at this time…  I lost my dad after a very long illness and even when you know they are dying – it doesn’t make it any easier… 

I don’t think this post is trying to go anywhere – I think its my way of saying good-bye to W and it was certainly a pleasure to know you Sir.  I know that I will once again hear your whistling when I join the heavenly chorus myself (no offense but hopefully not soon). 

Peace and Love of the Lord to you and all you love…

Old thoughts…

Going thru an old journal I came across these words…  Not sure what was going on then (06-24-1996) but these are the words that came out…  From what I wrote, it seems we were in a blackout as I wrote that I was writing this by the light of an oil lamp (yes, I own and use an oil lamp) and apparently it was not very warm that night (thankfully)…

“it is dark and still…  even the traffic is quieter – what a luxury electricity – can’t eat (well, can’t cook) – found people out tonight searching for some light – some power…  I guess that’s what we are all searching for – power and light.

the light leads you to God and His power.  God’s power is love!  He can’t stop wars.  He can’t heal everyone.  He can’t make all that is wrong – right.

He can help us help each other.  He can teach us love.  Through love anything is possible.

He loved us so – He gave his son.  His son loved us – so he gave his life.  What have you given out of love?

comfort, love, friendship, strength – a quiet smile, just being there!

what have I received?  that a thousand times over.  love from a great group of people.  confidence to try something new.  knowledge that it’ll be okay.”

Insomnia

1:30AM!  Geez!  Just can’t quiet my mind…  So much swirling around – work, changes at work, worries about future and especially a friend’s future…  Praying the prayer that never fails – “Thy will be done.”  Also praying for understanding of God’s will – as it will be done anyhow – but sometimes its hard to understand what God’s will is…

Had a wonderful email from my brother – my mom and I sent him a Boston Red Sox 2007 World Champions jersey for his 50th birthday, he lives in Wales and the arrival missed his birthday by one day.  His email was titled “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you… it’s way cool and not coming off ever” and note said in alternating fashion “We are the champoins!” “It arrived today!”  For some reason reading this note brought a tear to my eye.  To read such sheer joy from his reaction was wonderful.  “Holy ground” maybe?  Something to explore, certainly.  He sounded very pensive the other day about his upcoming birthday, hopefully it was a good outcome for him.  We’re not the closest of siblings so I don’t know if I’ll ever know.

Tomorrow a photo of the other kitty who lives in my house, Gracie.  She lived here for about three weeks before she got a name.  J will probably call her “Betty,” and that’s ok too.

I am going to attempt to sleep now…  I think I’ll start reading Sydney Poitier’s book, The Measure of a Man.  It’s been on the nightstand for a while, time to dive in.  The last book I finished a week or so ago – Eat, Pray, Love.  The wonderful story of one woman’s journey.  I guess this blog is another woman’s journey – Me!