Month: August 2010

1 down, 17 to go

The first chemo infusion went, well, it went well. We were there for SIX hours but that was because they were late starting and they wanted to take it very slowly for the “firstee.” We brought our lunch so we started munching around Noon:30. There was not much napping but there also wasn’t the anticipated and dreaded bad reaction to the steroids to which M is allergic and often has horrible reactions. She was dreading that  more than the chemo drugs!

We rushed back home and got here just in time for some din, of which she ate a good deal. It was followed by a healthy portion of ice cream – coating the stomach is good, I’m sure. So, trying to not to count chickens before they hatch but if the next six months goes like or nearly like today – it will still be six month but it should add some quality time to her life – and that’s a very good thing.

For M, this evening will end with some Ativan and tomorrow will be Compazine around the clock and that will continue for a couple of days.

For me, the mere mention of those meds brings back memories of sitting with J last summer and crushing those pills and administering them through his “J-tube.” I think their reappearance in my life is the hardest part for me because of the immense loss for us at the end of J’s battle.

M mentioned him the other night and always does when she uses the hand-rails he installed in the tub in my house – for her. I still miss him so very much.

Anyhow, M asked her Oncologist how he does this every day and both he and  said because he gets to win sometimes and that makes it all worth it. Not all stories end like J’s and I  hope and pray that M’s will be one in the win column for this doc.

Growing up?!?


This sofa (okay, not this exact one because this one is too small and rather flat)  and two chairs like the one below (not in that fabric) are coming soon to my living room.

Yes, this means that the “cargo furniture” that has been part of my life for over 15 years is going away. I have purchased “real” furniture and am rather excited about it.

The sofa is going to be a color very similar to the one pictured. Sort of a green, grey in a (hopefully) cat friendly microfiber fabric.

The chairs may be a little problematic in that there is a slight pattern and pattern means texture – so for the foreseeable future they will be adorned with heavy-duty aluminum foil – – it is said that cats hate that, we’ll see.

Furniture should arrive in 4 to 6 weeks! So, my furniture needs to leave my house. I’ll probably donate it to ALIVE. They will pick it up on a Saturday morning and immediately deliver it to a family that needs it.

Not sure how this place will look with growed up furniture but I’m looking forward to seeing it.

Cancer Sucks

Not an adjective I like to use. I don’t allow the kids to use it. Sometimes it is the right one for the situation.

Mum’s lung cancer is back. Doc says not surprising – usually comes back 18-24 months and we’re at 22 months. All along she said, no chemo. When the doc told her without chemo she had 6 months – she reconsidered. So, that merry-go-round shall start upon return from my weekend away. There will be a CAT scan of her brain – I’m sure they’ll find nothing. <snort> (sorry folks, ya gotta keep your sense of humor especially in times like these).

They will do 2-3 cycles (3 weeks each so that’s 6-9 weeks) then do a PET scan and see if progress has been made. If so, 2-3 more cycles. If not, there you go. The biggest worry is how her system will tolerate the drugs. She usually has to take a nap after taking Tylenol – so this shall be a challenge. Doc says in older people they find weekly is better than once every 3 weeks – so it’s a little lower dosage but a more constant across the board. Based upon BFF Oncology Nurse’s reaction last night when I told her the drugs that would be used this is bad. Either the tumor is big or will be quickly. It has progressed quickly and he wants to hit it hard and fast. I guess that goes along with 6 months if we do nothing. It just sucks.

So, I shall be taxi and other support but I’ve decided for myself I shall get back to Spinning class upon my return from a weekend away (trip has been planned for a bit). I will need stress relief and this was very helpful for me last summer being part of the community living with a dear friend fighting a similar battle. Exercise is a huge help and I know that, so now I have to practice what I know to be true.

So, here’s praying that she tolerates the drugs and they give her another year or two (or maybe more, but who knows) on this earth. The flip side is she would join the love of her life, my Dad who left us 7 and a half years ago, and spend eternity with him. So, for her, not a bad deal. Regardless of when shoe goes, I shall miss her terribly because she is not only my mother but one of my best friends. We have lots of fun together.

When I was growing up she tells me she prayed that she would live long enough to see me grow out of whatever I was going through and grow into a good person. She has told me on numerous occasions that she is glad she did live long enough and that I have done just that. Prayers and good thoughts are appreciated.

*minor edit for clarity – no, I’m leaving her to fend for herself and get around without me! leave out two little words… “return from” – oopsie.